I was feeling hopeful because there hadn't been any talk of divorce since Sunday and I thought we were getting along great. I kept my changes going and he was doing things for me too. As soon as I woke up today he said we needed to talk and that he filed for divorce and wanted to know what I wanted as far as the house and what not. I'm so lost. I told him I want everything I'm entitled to and I didn't want to lose the house as it's part of my retirement. He said we can go work with a mediator.
I couldn't help but cry. Tried to reason with him. He was sad too and started crying. Says he's had low self esteem since he was a kid and wasn't happy with himself and he works out and works to deal with it all. He says he has a plan to make himself feel better and healthier and one of the steps is to get out of this marriage. So he gets healthier and ruins my health because all I wanna do is die. He says he can't help how he feels, or what he doesn't feel for me. There's no plans of him moving out any time soon, he mentioned over a year at least, so I don't understand why papers need to be filed right now. He's not gonna go get married again, and I'll lose my health insurance and base privileges. He's medically retired. He keeps telling me I'm a great person and I just feel like a failure that I didn't read the signs. If I'm so great then why am I the problem??? He still wants to be friends and I don't even know what that will look like, especially when he finds someone. He keeps telling me I deserve better. I have no plans to ever be with anyone else. I'm just done.
