Need insight

[DnJ]

Hi JoJo

No worries about double posting, happens every now and then. I usually try to clean up such things. (BTW, double post deleted. )

At the moment the website is sometimes a bit glitchy; stalls or is slow to respond. There is an updated website being created, and should be out in a month or so. (Hopefully)

Regarding deleting/editing: A poster has a ten minute window to edit their post. With the delay you were experiencing for the site to respond that time elapsed.

If you notice something you need edited (after your time limit), just drop a note and one of us moderators will get things fixed up for you.


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Here are some wise word from a wise poster, Wonka.

Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.

It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.

We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.

Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.

For the moment, H is not on team JoJo. Do not share or tell him about DB, the books, any tactics or strategies, etc.

As much as this hurts I don’t mind the roller coaster of emotions as long as it means we will stay together, so I just have my eyes on the prize.

Oh that rollercoaster.

Detachment is the single best thing you can do for yourself. Step off the rollercoaster.

I totally agree about having your eyes on the prize. However, what is the prize to you? I suspect you are referring to saving your marriage.

Saving your marriage is a bonus. The true prize is YOU!

Divorce Busting will save you and give you the best chance at saving your marriage.

Just like on an airplane: you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Then you can help others.

H is living in two worlds. Divorcing/staying. A mix of fantasy and reality. He is confused and it will make you confused trying to figure him out. He can/will change direction at the drop of a hat. Ping pong about. Because he is being lead more by his emotions than logic and reason.

You cannot reason with him. Can’t set him down and logically spell it out to him. He needs to sort out his own mess. He needs to choose to change direction.

You are doing well being calm and pressure-free. Also, don’t walk on eggshells. Focus on you. Let go of fear.

I have been doing my best to just act normal around him and not try to touch him or make him feel uncomfortable.

Yes. Be normal and do your own thing. It is perfectly fine if H feels uncomfortable. You don’t go out of your way to make him uncomfortable, or manipulate, or anything like that. It’s more letting him lay in the bed he’s made.

looking for insight on what you guys think this could mean.

I think H was running low and needed to resupply. He needed a refill on knowing you are waiting for him.

Let him feel the loss.



Hope you have a good day.

D