Thank you. I don't know if you saw my update about the sex part. That was part of my 180. I explained to him that I did want it and want him, which was important to him. I'm happy that he tried but extremely sad that he still couldn't feel anything for me. I am so hoping I can become a woman only a fool would leave to him. I already know that I am, he just doesn't see it. Yes I would complain to him about my problems but I never complained about him. I always supported him in anything he wanted to do. He likes to travel by himself and I was reluctant about it when we first got married, but he didn't give me any reason to suspect anything so I never gave him grief about it. Actually I made him promise me to take me on a cruise the first time and he agreed, and we still haven't gone. Last time I mentioned it a few months ago he said he's not going and to go with a friend.
We've also always had separate bank accounts and joint one we transfer money back and forth to each other through. I was fine with that at first because my ex and I had everything in one account and it was a disaster, but it really bugged me that I had no access to his accounts in case something were to happen to him. When he would ask me why I needed to have that, I would say "because I'm your wife". That wasn't a sufficient answer.
I know he's not having an affair. If he's not at work he's at the gym or at home. If he is, he's hiding it incredibly well. He's just got this fantasy that he's going to meet someone one day who's going to make him feel all the feelings.
We did fight over little things and our communication sucked. I would bring up something he did that bugged me in the nicest way I could, to which he would get defensive and start raising his voice and start pointing out my shortcomings. To which I would just shut down and have nothing to say because I just want the fight to be over and to get along again. I'm quick to forgive and forget and he holds things in, even if it was a joke and I told him a million times that it was.
I don't think he's ever had his heart broken or been abused like I was in the past, which makes it harder for him to appreciate what he has with me.
