I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. He is one confused man who really and truly doesn't understand what is going on within himself. I am not surprised that the move has now been postponed. As long as you can go with the flow and not pressure him into doing anything, he may very well continue as he has been and not move out.
As for telling the children, that is on him to explain what is going on. You get it! Yes, it is on him to retain a lawyer and get the ball rolling since he's the one that wants out of the marriage.
Hang in there! I think for someone very new to this yo-yo ride, you are doing well. If you need to cry, then do so. Tears help us heal.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
