Yesterday…So I’m on my way to the gym over lunch and I’m making myself some lunch to take because I had a meeting right after. I told him I was going to see my dad for his birthday and asked if he wanted to go. He said no. I said okay. Then a conversation about my dad’s house starts which is long story but something we both agree on. Just talking. Then he brings up leaving. Asks if I’ve talked to any lawyers since we talked last…nope. He hasn’t done anything either. He said I know you put that on me to do. Yep I did…I nod. Says he probably won’t be moving in June, thinks he’s jumped the gun in the lease. Thinks July. I just said okay. He says but we’ll be paying for it and I’m not there….so. I told him yep we’re paying for it but it doesn’t mean that’s the deadline for you to move. There’s no timeline. It’s up to you. Then he asked if he should tell d19 next week when she gets home from school and ask her to keep it to herself. I said absolutely not. That would be SO unfair to her. So I think July? Never said. Didn’t ask. Thought maybe he’d start moving stuff in June. I told him that if he starts moving stuff the kids will notice. So when we ended the conversation he said something like, okay no deadlines good. Then he tells me how surreal this is. I agreed. Says he can’t sleep and his stomach is messed up and feels like he can’t be happy because he’s so stressed out. I ask about what. He’s says “everything”. I said you don’t have to tell me but if you want can you be more specific. He’s says he stressed about telling people and then stops and says something like I know you’re not a therapist and stops talking. I said right but I can listen. Says he’s worried about telling the kids. He said you said it was on me…nodding my head…I say yes but I’ll be there. Then he asks “what am I going to tell them”…I shrug.. “what am I going to tell my parents?”…I shrug. “I’m going to ruin lives.” Yes you are. I wanted to yell then why are you doing this!!! But I just say “I understand why you’d be stressed about that.” I started crying when he mentioned the kids. I apologized got a tissue and stopped crying. He told me never to apologize for crying that he’s been crying too. Again wanted to scream. But said nothing. I told him my position hasn’t changed. I haven’t seen him like that in a long time and I don’t ever think that stressed. Now he’ll probably retreat again because he’ll be upset he said all that. He hasn’t opened up like that in forever. Not reading into it. No expectations. Then my d19 texted about the dates we would normally be going on vacation in July. And are we going anywhere for the 4th. He gave her the dates but said he didn’t know about the 4th.
So I guess this will be more interesting. Our 25th wedding anniversary is June 3rd. The kids especially D19 is going to remember that. We usually always go somewhere for the 4th as well. What will happen there…not asking. Today he’s acting like nothing is wrong again…not surprised.
