H decided he wanted to have an “update today”. The lease will begin on June 9th. He had the date wrong. He’s signing it. When he told me it sounded like a question. So I asked. Are you asking me or telling me. Well I guess I’m telling you. He does want to tell the girls until after school is over…good. H also mentioned that he hates bring this stuff up because he knows how much pain it causes me. I told him we were a little past him hurting me. I don’t know if that was the right thing. He also mentioned how much anxiety this is causing him. I don’t remember what I said but tried to emphasize. Any recommendations there? I didn’t want to say sorry to hear that. He’s causing his own anxiety. (Which I recently found out he’s been struggling with for awhile, never told me). He wears quite the mask. Also wants to have a consult with a mediation lawyer next week.
I didn’t cry even though I really want to. Now I probably will, but not in front of him. I was calm. No yelling, complaining or anything like that. He was probably surprised.
He also mentioned that he would be living with only a few things because he needs to save money. Ha. Since when? Obviously I didn’t say that just listened. And that he would take him some time to move out. I have no idea what that means and I didn’t ask.
One thing that’s been weird lately is that he keeps calling himself stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. He has while he’s been working and last night after getting home from a trip he said it after complaining about his hotel room. And he came home day early. Says he’s sick. Sorry throat. Don’t know what to believe. Anyway not reading into it I just think it’s weird.
I still feel like I’m going all the wrong things. Giving space, only bring up D stuff, only talking when he brings stuff up. Not getting emotional…in front of him.
