I’m a road biker (pedaling 😀) I used to go on a long ride at least once a week. Don’t know why I stopped. The day I started this thread I took my bike in for a tune up. I can’t wait to get it back and fit the weather to warm up so I can get out again.
Yesterday was rough for no apparent reason. Part of the ups and downs I guess. I felt like nothing I was doing was going to help. That H is just going to thinking I’m “keeping the peace” again. I guess it doesn’t matter. I started using the “stop sign” but a little differently. Whenever I think of H and the OW I put up a stop sign and say I can’t control this so stop. Does it work? Sometimes. Detachment is SO hard. I try to remind myself that he is only thinking of himself right now and this new happy life he thinks hes getting.
I’ve been GALing more than I have in a long time. I have a friend to totally gets what I’m trying to do and is 100% behind me. So we talk a lot and go out regularly. Others don’t get it, sadly. But I know they love me and support me. But I’m getting out. Going to take some free online history classes just for fun. Yes I’m weird. We have a big school fundraiser this weekend. Will he go? I don’t know. I’m not asking. I’m going no matter what.
What I don’t get is why he cares how I am. “You okay” that ones stopped a little. The concern over getting a call from my gym while I was there. At a soccer game and he’s concerned that I’m cold. Is that him just getting over his guilt?
I know I need to stop worrying about what he wants. My C says the same thing. I guess I’m just focused on the kids and him right now, but trying to get better about focusing on me. I read somewhere to do something you can control first thing in the morning. Make your bed. So that’s what I do, at least my side. I’ve also started showering first thing. I know that sounds silly but before I would get it done right before I would have to for the day.
Any advice on detachment would be amazing. One of the Quotes I found was if he says five words you say three. I’ve read DR, how to survive your husbands midlife crisis, when a mate wants out and the shut out wife, need to read them all again.
