This daily flipping and flopping about staying or ending the marriage, ask yourself what is driving it? Seriously look. It’s likely emotionally driven. Your feelings bouncing about.
I think it is the intellectual side that would take me out of the marriage. The knowledge that the woman I will spend the rest of my life with would not treat me like this and that for my own mental health and self respect I should make room for something better. That I should accept this is who my wife is now and I see no desire from her to change. That I likely have more of the same to look forward to through all the coming years of menopause, family passing away and whatever else awaits us. This is just her way of dealing with things. That I might be wasting some of my best years.
On the flip side I know how difficult and damaging divorce will be for us all.
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The big thing, she needs to want it. Is she seeing an IC?
No. She did for a while (although I have suspicions that she wasn't going all the times she said she was). She hasn't gone back to IC in over 3 months.
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Remember, you are in the roll, and want the roll of husband, not IC. Do not try to fix her.
I have very deliberately avoided trying to fix, or openly diagnose her. I might have researched and theorised a lot to figure out and understand what is going on it but I'm not telling/teaching her anything. I can use it to dismantle some of the unhealthy patterns on my side of the M but that is all.
