You know the drill...

[Dynamiq]

Time passes in Limbo land, and it passes quickly. Life is so busy at the moment.

W is away at the holiday home with kids and MIL again this weekend. I'm left at home working, GALing and processing.

I've seen a slight change in her. She's asking for things again. Just small things like getting the picnic table out of the shed where it was stored for the winter. I did this because I was about to do it anyway. She also asked about taking the children's stair gates down, also something I mentioned I would do soon so I will.

These aren't the type of things you'd ask for if you were moving out soon.

On the flip side, still no effort to connect. Some small little things around the house show that I'm still in her thoughts, food she has bought or offers of a coffee or sandwich.

We had mothers day here last weekend so I took the kids shopping to get her a gift. We made her breakfast in bed and I cooked a nice dinner. No grand gestures. She thanked me for the effort.

I still change my mind several times per day between ending things myself and sticking it out. But I know I wouldn't end things without giving it one last chance effort, should that effort just be more DB?

My IC talks a lot about trying to connect, add a bit of romance, but also being authentic, and relaxed and not taking things too personally. It all makes sense at the time but then I get out, remember where we are, what has been done and I realise that being authentic means not flirting and chasing. It's strange because I am still really physically attracted to her. But the way she is behaving towards me isn't attractive and I can't see past that. I actually see this as really healthy and a sign of growth in myself.

My Ws brother who is one year younger than her, also has a hard time keeping his life on track. He has a 'grass is greener' attitude to most things. They were both very young when their parents divorced and it really seems to have left a terrible mark on both of them. I don't want that for my little ones.

I set down a big wake up call around infidelity and W responded. Should I do the same (gently) around avoidance since this will be just as destructive to the marriage? I'm mindful of one of Sandi's posts about treating a WW with a bit of tough love to avoid getting stuck in this exact situation.

I've started listen to The Art of Seduction. Really interesting. I'll comment more when I've finished but I am wondering if my sitch needs to be thought of in terms of a grand seduction. Should seduction ever leave a marriage? Only in this case it's much more than just getting her into bed...