I have been doing well. Focused and responsible and having lots of fun adventuring and enjoying winter with spring teasing here and there.
Getting into the mountains often and being consistent with gym/running/hiking, family time and enjoying friends.
W had not been responding for a couple weeks to my attempt to schedule our weekly conversation about S. I have been limiting my interactions to what is important and keeping it simple and direct.
She sent this message on the weekend:
I can’t figure out how you had a confrontation with my friend and then weeks later, still pretending it never happened. You really need to work on this passive aggression with me. It’s not okay and has never been okay. And not only controlling me but trying to control my friend? And then saying nothing, taking no accountability- leaving it to me to bring up? I’ve done everything that I can do to be kind and patient with your process, as you continue to be stubborn and controlling. I’m so over it, and cannot wait to be divorced.
I have sat on that and been processing but haven’t responded. She didn’t ask a question just told me what to do how she feels and what she wants.
I am considering what my action and path forward is. What am I able to do about her message? As DnJ counseled, I have been diligent to not allow OM to stay in my head. And I am determined not to initiate any further contact him and will disengage if he crosses my path. I will continue to be detached and direct, simple and brief in communicating with her. I will listen (as I am to her message) if she talks. And I am not holding my breath.
So far, younger kids have not followed up to talk with me about their feelings about meeting OM. That’s fine - we continue to be close and connected. And I have expressed to them that they can share their thoughts feelings and questions anytime. I don’t know if eldest 2 have met him. I assume not.
I have also been intentional not to demonize their mom and to be supportive and not blocking their R’s with her. Thank you all for sharing your wisdom.
