Not much to report from limbo land. I'm feeling peaceful. Pulling back. Leaning in to Detachment and letting go. W is busy trying to do practical things for me. I sense she feels that distance growing.
I want to tell her that I don't need or want a maid, but if that's all she's comfortable with giving at the moment then OK. I'm just making sure I'm pulling my weight in that area so she doesn't need to get resentful.
GALing has mostly been fitness related the last while. I have some creative projects I want to get into but that might have to wait now my dad has an illness.
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Time and space. I understand that to you 10-15 R-talks over 6 months sounds insignificant. To her, another “talk” every 12 days just keeps pushing her towards the door. You need to back off, way off
If I take 10 off around BD1 and BD2 then it's 5 talks in 5 months and that actually still sounds high when I put it that way. The thing I wasn't really getting was that the space isn't really for the WW even though they might want it, it's the LBS who NEEDS the space. We don't know what's happened, our world is turned upside down and we're in shock. The WS has had all the time in the world to detach and come to terms with things. There is nothing wrong with the LBS taking space to do the same. I would have benefitted from taking this more seriously.
I remember looking at the stages the LBS goes through and thinking that when I get to Acceptance that it would be peaceful but actually there is still quite a bit of pain in acceptance. Acceptance doesn't bring any sort of resolution, just the realisation that this is where we are, wife is not who I though she was. Our relationship wasn't what I thought it was. The future isn't what I thought it was.
But I'm also realising that this time really is a gift. A chance to write my own story. At some point i realised this would lead to a life transition of my own and I'm sure of that now, but I still don't know what that outcome will be. I want to take some time and figure this out...
