Even though our sitches are quite different, I can really empathise with you on feeling like you are giving more and your spouse is getting a lot of benefit without giving back what you need. I see my W doing things around the home and doing things for me, making me food, making up my bed, my laundry etc and I want to tell her that I don't want a maid, I want a partner, an equal.
But I'm not sure she is capable of anything else at the moment. I guess this is more comfortable for her and allows her to keep me attached, string me along or whatever while she gets the comfort of home and the time and peace to do whatever it is she is doing. I'm choosing to accept that for now because I see myself still growing, changing and getting stronger.
It's interesting to see the differences. You're getting calls texts and friendship at the same time as progressing towards divorce. I'm getting practical help, but coldness and indifference with not much progress towards anything.
Your H is doing hurtful and confusing things, try not to let that pull you off course. I know it's difficult. It is worth it.
My advice; take what you're given and make the best of it, pour yourself into the kids, your home, yourself.
