Please know that I provide this perspective from a place of kindness and to help you. It may come across as harsh.
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… and made the mistake of framing it with a kind of ultimatum.
Yep, well lesson learned. They never respond to threats. Good on you for recognising this and owning it 👍
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So I am now going to back off and withdraw.
Backing off with ultimatums - yes.
But “withdrawing”? You’re giving her exactly what she wants. Would you give your dog a treat if it pi**ed on the carpet? You’re rewarding her crap behaviour. There’s something seriously wrong with this dynamic where you are being a doormat. Women are never attracted to men they don’t respect. While you might think that withdrawing and doing exactly what she says and not challenging her behaviour gets you closer to your goal of reconciliation, it actually moves you further away. You’re just cementing the divorce, because she will see a weak man she can walk all over.
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She has now taken off her rings, which is a way of showing she wants to be free from me or whatever smirk
That’s garden variety manipulation. Others might call it intimidation or coercion.
Are you currently seeing a professional therapist or counsellor (just for you)?
