I hope everything is OK. My sitch is a bit different and I'm relatively new myself so I'll just limit my support and advice to those things that I think are going to be universally true and that have helped me
Do those things that calm you and that give you a sense of pride and purpose. Do things for you. Read those things that uplift you and help you find a positive mindset.
No More Mr Nice Guy was pivotal for me. I don't know of there is a female equivalent. I think the key is to find whatever emotional baggage you have been carrying around inside you and start to work on it. I can't help you figure out what that is.
Another book that helped me was Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Just say to yourself that 'whatever happens I'll handle it'.
Really it is said so many times here but it does bear repeating. Focus on you.
