I'm doing well. Reading, listening to audiobooks, running, hitting the gym. Loving time with my kids. I started to help out with coaching my son's soccer team this week.
Trying to connect more with friends. Trying not to talk about my sitch so that has been stopping me connecting a bit because i know friends will ask. But I have to do it for me. I don't have to tell everything that is going on.
Consuming some youtube material that I saw recommended on here by Ready2change that is helping me reset my mindset and preconceptions about women and relationships.
Detachment rolls on. Really trying to dig in to my inner values and what I want in life. Here's what I have so far...
Friends - when we first moved in to the house I really expected we'd have friends and family over a lot more but this hasn't happened. Partly due to the busyness of young family, partly due to me not being proactive enough.
Music - I used to go to a lot of gigs and played instruments. I gave up a lot of this for family. I now have 2 gigs in the calendar for this year, hopefully more to follow.
Sex, intimacy, connection, commitment. I want this (I know - how can I still want this?). I know I do need to rebalance how I approach this. Keeping more of my own, separate life? And how to negotiate trust and commitment is going to be difficult. I don't know where I will end up on this front.
Travel - Something I used to love but since getting married and having kids our travel has been more local. Work gives me some opportunities to do this. I will look for individual and family opportunities to travel more widely.
I'm listening to The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer on audiobook. I finished it once through and will go through again. I would recommend this for any LBS to help with the mindset shifts we need to make.
W is going to take the kids to dinner at a family member this weekend. I'm invited but I'm going to phone ahead and make my apologies. The thought of 3 hrs in the car with W doesn't really appeal to me right now. I get the feeling W doesn't want me to go and a small part of me would go and be my super charming self just to annoy her but that would be petty. I have lots of 'me stuff' to work on instead...
How does one apologise, and make it clear that it is my personal choice not to attend without letting them know that it's because of difficulties in the marriage?
Also, what about inviting friends over to the house while living with a miserable, shut down wife? I expect she'd put on her 'outgoing, friendly personality' that everyone else but me sees and get on with it. I just don't know if this is seen as pressure (she always wants to be the perfect hostess), and why should I care?
I'm realising how my time is my most precious and valuable asset...
I'm also celebrating a personal milestone so I'll take myself out for a steak dinner this weekend!
Last edited by DnJ; 01/30/2505:37 PM. Reason: Corrected typo.
