I go back to BD and the spew he spit out for a few days there : I’m not good enough , the kids favor you , they don’t need me , this is who I am and mainly the excuses for the affair : she liked my clothing , she answered when I called , she dropped everything when I was around .
Months later that spew has cleared up and reality hits hard . She likes the clothing your wife bought ? She answered because you stopped calling your wife but the big one “she dropped everything while I was around “ your wife paid the bills , took care of our children and maintained your children’s well being .
Sounds awfully like a child who seeks attention from their parents to me .
I’m not going to say I’m in any way moving towards healing this marriage . Just letting some time go by before I decide what to do here . Watching this unfold .
It's gaslighting and manipulation at it's finest. Look Caligirl - you have been at this a VERY Long time. Regardless on if it's a sprint or a marathon - one can only handle so much before they are done. And interestingly enough - we don't always make the decision. It's like a switch that just gets turned off.
I think you can continue to watch and unfold but also you can continue to look within and find the answers to accept where you are at. Is it possible you might just not have it in you to try? It would be okay. Sure this is a marriage saving site but not if it means you are just going to be hurt 5 years later again.
I think you're guard is up for a reason. To me - it seems like H is fine to "react" but not to initiate. There are plenty of betrayers out there who initiate a full disclosure or initiate an unblocking on social media. They do this because they know it will be healing for you. And your healing is just as important to them as their own.
I am just not seeing it from your H. He seems really consumed with himself. And I'm seeing you acting accordingly.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
