Grief and Gratitude, Grok - (A) Rise

[grok]

Thanks Caligirl.

It is good to have some feedback on how I handle things. It is always hard to see from the inside. And I try to tell it straight as it happens. Though I pick which events I tell because they hit me somehow as ... more ... I don't know if that distorts my story some.

You handled that perfectly. I’m still processing her coming into the MB and shutting the door . They have no boundaries .

She has not done this often. Just when something is bothering her enough to push past her normal bounds. It FEELS like she stays away from being in the home many times... *reasons* I try to stay away from trying to figure anything out.

I did legally agree to give her house access during work hours week days and if I am on business travel. Deliberate on my part to have the kids stay in ONE home. To give her assurances I was not and would not "take the kids away from her." She had expressed some sort of fears she could be attacked in the courts as a bad mom. Not for her sake, but so she didn't feel desperate to split the kids days with me and days with her.

Today is an example of staying away. She could stay there today and tonight. I'm in San Diego now and return on Friday. I checked the camera (garage/doorbell) alerts. She came by the house twice. Just over an hour in the morning (removing more of her stuff?) and 15 minutes in the afternoon (to take D17 to gym?). With D19 herding a bit they did their chores and put themselves to bed this evening.

She doesn’t live there so no say in the cameras . I don’t even know what she would be worried about . She’s there with the kids , who cares there’s cameras .

Yeah, I don't know. I think it is a fear connected to OM and friends. She thinks they can tap into city/county/other cameras and spy on her everywhere. Apparently OMs family is a BIG THING in this county and has connections that do favors for them. And I certainly have better things to do with my time than spy through cameras. Scrolling through the alerts took two minutes to understand the flow of the day ... who came and went.

Wife telling your 13 year old more than they need to know is their way of alleviating guilt .

Hmmmm... hadn't thought of it that way.

Just keep loving on those kids .

Always. Keeping Faith.

Taller - Ethan C. Davis & Isla Vista Worship

[Verse 1]
I’m doing alright, I'm breathin' deep
I'm feeling taller than before
And I'm sure glad I let You in
The day You showed up at my door
The air is clear, I'm breathin' deep
I couldn't ask for too much more
'Cause when a friend is what I needed
You came running with support

[Bridge]
You got me feelin' so much younger
Livin' like it's always summer
With You I get a sense of comfort like nothing else
I'm seeing everything in color
There's beauty even in the suburbs
With You I get a sense of wonder like nothing else (Wonder like nothing…)

[Chorus]
I’m surprised, to say for sure
I love You more than I did before
And all I thought I wanted's in Your eyes
You heal my broken heart
You're making me a work of art
I feel my spirit risin' like the tides

It got late after travel. A post filling in the rest of the last 4 weeks tomorrow.

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