You just posted my story, almost like we're married to the same man. I am a little over 2 yrs past BD, I, like you did every thing wrong and prob still do. The best thing I did for myself was cut communication with him. His crazy was making me crazy and all over the place with my thoughts and emotions. I felt like I was in an alternate universe at times. It is so hard to explain what it's like. It's not easy to understand, so I quit trying, quit assuming and I quit analyzing what he was thinking, doing or why.
I got involved with a small group at church and don't miss a Sunday service. I found my peace in God. The H has even noticed.
Is our relationship better? No, but I AM and you will be too. I know it's hard to see that now but I promise it does get better.
This forum does help. It helps to know that other people understand what you're going through cause I'm sure when u try to talk about it to friends and family, you get the eye roll(yeah right) response. Nobody understands unless they've been through it. That's why this group is a good escape.
