I wish I had found this page a year ago. Because I have done ALL the things you aren’t supposed to do many times over in the last year before finding this page after I pushed my husband to the attorneys office last week.
We have two girls, 8 and 10. We have been together 20 years, H37 and M38. We have been through it all together since high school, and now he is a stranger.
I went through a bad depression from 2021-2022 and the stress of that and finances and work may have pushed him into what I didn’t realize was a MLC.
Out of nowhere, he didn’t love me anymore, he was caught talking to women behind my back, he was yelling at our kids all the time, he wanted a divorce and then he didn’t, he was crying all day, and then he was yelling all day, driving fast, mad at the world, everyone [censored] and he hates everyone. He wants to be alone in the woods - he says. He says every day he wants to run and run, and he feels no good emotions except sadness and pain. I found he was saving posts online about being in a prison at home, he wanted to fall in love, he wanted to have his fairy tale - so of course those things hurt and I pushed and I yelled and I wanted answers.
He would ask for divorce and I’d convince him he needed to stay. I was never a big crier or one to beg, but when he told me after I’ve been home with our kids for ten years that he would help me now but I needed to find a way to support myself because he didn’t want to be my husband anymore, I lost it, and I couldn’t contain my crying and pleading. Again, I wish I had found this page.
I wasn’t even really upset with him last week, but I told him he couldn’t meet my needs and he didn’t deserve me because how he’s been acting the last year and told him we needed to divorce, I didn’t want that at all, I wanted him to reassure me. Next mistake. He started calling attorneys and said he can’t keep hurting me, can’t meet my needs and won’t ever be the man he was before.
He says he has no hope in life, is always in pain and just angry at everything. I have been handling this all wrong and fear he’s been pushed too too far away now.
Reading over this page and the links over the last few days, has been comforting and calming when all we have been doing is yelling and fighting and we were never ones to fight. I couldn’t figure out why I am suddenly his enemy, and he yells and throws things. This is a stranger.
Thanks for listening! Trying to GAL, detach, and be there for our girls as I have been for the last year as this man has turned into someone none of us recognize. I am embarrassed and all the begging and pleasing I’ve done - he’s all I’ve ever known. The pain has been horrid.
