Yes, there is a fair possibility I'm being stupid. Don't worry, not blaming myself, just coming to terms with the fact that i have lots to learn.
I'm quite analytical. Maybe too much so. I make an effort to understand the 'why' behind the rules so I can decide why some rules or advice conflicts with advice from other sources and which to use and when. I'm going to make mistakes. But I don't feel this was too bad.
It's hard. The most difficult and painful thing I've ever been through.
Trying to walk the tightropes of detachment, GAL, being a confident attractive man who wouldn't put up with being disrespected or having his time wasted. Being assertive and confident and fun but stable and consistent. Validate, listen and create emotional safety but don't be the gay best friend.
All while sharing a house with W and parenting 3 young kids together. There's a reason it takes 2 people to do this and to choose this as a good time to want to walk out of the family makes the mind boggle.
I can see why patience and working on myself is the advice. Everyday I get more detached, more confident that I'll be OK no matter what. Less afraid of whatever happens. That has to be attractive.
I do see there is a mindset shift I haven't fully made - letting go and having no expectations.
