Grief and Gratitude, Grok - (A) Rise

[grok]

AAR quicklook

grok is processing processing

... a bit of a low level surge of emotions and chemicals churning in the bloodstream

XW tells S13 more

XW stopped by, bringing S13 back home after a few hours out this morning. She then came upstairs to the MB where I am teleworking today at my desk. She shuts the door and says she needs to talk to me. I'm sitting at my desk. She is standing. I don't get up.

She says she HAD to tell S13 more about "the situation." Such an obfuscating word.

- He was noticing things
- Stuff disappearing, stolen, and being followed
- Like that corrupt county we used to live in
- I had to tell him something
- I'm a straight shooter
- Septic system at her RV and now at her rented biz place both having issues because sabotage
- They take stuff out of her car
- Amazon packages are stolen
- Surprised she still has a car
- D19 and D17 think I'm crazy but it's happening and S13 is noticing without me prompting
- THEY are even disconnecting the 3D printer and connecting it elsewhere!!

poker face G, "OK ... that sounds hard"

XW starts to walk out, "You're condescending. You need to work on that. I know you know more than you are letting on."

Some expression G, "I'm ... sorry you feel that way"

XW pauses and looks, "I know. I can see it on you."

poker face G, gently, "I'm listening. What is it you wanted to tell me?"

- Rambling about things she is trying to do that she wanted even before we were married
- Do you have concerns about homeschooling him
- I'll agree to put him in a school if he wants to go but he doesn't
- You have to tell me these things

poker face G, "I ... don't have a problem with homeschooling. I watch and observe and see. I will do what is right for me and my children. If he needs to go to a school I WILL talk with you."

XW emotionally, "With these cameras in/on the house everyone is recording and watching me. "

G pauses, softer face, "NO. I did not put these cameras here to watch you. "

XW emotionally, "Well if you aren't, THEY are. Through the cameras. But THEY won't do anything to the kids. And I know you will protect them. I want the kids to be safe. This is not their problem. "The situation." "

poker face G, "YES. I WILL keep them safe."

XW, wet eyes, "I'm NOT COMING BACK. I know that is what THEY want. LINES were CROSSED in our marriage. The kids have to be kept out of it."

XW exits straight out.

I'm not sure what lines were crossed that she is referring to. Right now, she feels strongly that I crossed some lines and hurt her too badly. It IS an illustration of the push/pull concepts discussed as part of DB. She quite clearly feels like THEY are pushing her. So. She resists. "I won't be told what to do or feel"

I don't think I've done ANY R talk since fall of 2023. I'm not sure why coming back was inserted. This version of her is not attractive to me. I've just left it at "The future is unwritten" while pressing on with MY life.

***BREAK - D19***

1 hour later D19 comes zooming home at ~late lunch time. It's a little unusual so I go downstairs to see. D19 is standing at the bottom of the stairs with a **LOOK** on her face. I motion for her to follow me back up to the MB and shut the door.

G with a hug, "OK ... what's going on?"

D19, with tears, "SHE TOLD HIM!!! He's 13!!! She shouldn't have done that. He DOESN"T. NEED. TO. KNOW. AT. 13. ... D17 texted me AT WORK and CONFUSED ME. You have to talk to him. Take him out for ice cream or something. He's going to bottle it all up otherwise. AND he believes everything she says about all this!!! Because it's HER. Is she crazy? Other people's packages were getting stolen too. And my wifi behaves wonky sometimes too. That's just life."

G, wet eyes, gently, holds out his hand, showing her, it is shaking a little bit, "I ... know D19. She said ... many ... things to me over the last two years. I don't know how much is true or not. I had to learn to not focus on that and spend my energy on making sure you and D17 and S13 have a safe HOME here. We only control ourselves, not her. We do not control what she says or doesn't say. S13 may believe her or not. We can only show him how we behave."

D19, "But it's not right. And she things everyone is spying on her. It's not true!"

G, "D19, I did not put up cameras to "spy" on her or you. Because I'm now alone as a parent here I believed I needed to know who is coming and going around and in my home. I wanted to make sure my kids are safe and secure."

D19, "Yeah, well, this is not the best area of the town. We probably should have had some cameras years ago...."

D19 zooms back to work.

g