So I went to IC again, I was hoping to talk more about me but ended up talking mostly about the sitch. T thinks I am doing really well, more secure and grounded than I feel I am. I feel like I'm anxious but I suppose my actions don't seem that way even if my feelings do sometimes.
I'm feeling more detached all the time. Really starting to accept that W is a different person now from the woman I married or even the woman of 2 years ago. The more I read about depression, the more it seems that is a big part of what we're dealing with. That knowledge doesn't solve anything, it helps me find a bit of compassion though.
T is trying to convince me to attempt to connect with W and I will. T also suggests MC but I'll play that as it comes without pushing too hard for it.
I've been listening to some Chris Voss interviews and podcasts to try to sharpen up my communication and listening skills. Not only have I had to become an amateur psychologist and relationship guru this last while, now I need to train as a hostage negotiator. All just to have a conversation with my own wife!
I really got on making my changes really quickly - before BD even. Finding NMMNG and similar books and working through the exercises unlocked some things in my mind that had been holding me back. This was a huge shift for me, and I got control of one really big issue in my life.
I'm feeling good about the future. Letting go of the fear we all feel when we lose control of we thought was our world, our future.
My GAL progress stalled a bit this week though. I need to get back to that over the next few days -some home improvements I want to work on.
W is away on a girls night this weekend so I will have lots of time to have fun with the kids.
