As I had mentioned in my reply to grok. The H and I had not spoken in 8 months and I was finally ok. One night in October I look at my phone and there was a text from H asking what I was doing. We have talked at least twice a week since then. We've had very good conversations, with him saying how much I had changed and he was working on him and his relationship with God and he wasn't good for me or anybody else right now. If you're working on your relationship with God, wouldn't that also include working on your relationship with your wife and kids???? IDK I spent Christmas Eve night at my MS apartment and was able to cook Christmas dinner. I invited him to come by and eat, which he did and we had a good visit and continued to have our weekly text. Now this past Sunday night I get a text telling me he's done and he just wants me to sign the papers. If you're working on yourself and your relationship with God, then why rush to divorce???? Why not continue to work on those things and see what happens??? H doesn't answer those type questions, I don't think he understands it either. Just feels the pull to do what he thinks he wants. Almost like it's on his bucket list. I can't say for sure. I think he got upset with me when he went to the dentist and realized I wasn't paying for his dental insurance any longer, I stopped when I got the 2nd set of papers. I think that may have been a kick in the gut so he's gonna pitch a fit and he's done. I could be wrong. He was raised to "get them, before they get you" he may feel like he got, got. IDK Now he's gonna retaliate. What's good for the goose is not good for the gander with him. He is justified in what he does...SMH He did enlighten me that since we haven't lived together in 2yrs he doesn't consider us married and has told people we are divorced. Ok, just because you say it doesn't make it Bible.
Can someone explain???? Was he coming out of the tunnel???? Did he get spooked and now we're gonna start this hell all over?????? So much I don't understand and had really stopped trying to understand until he came out of his rabbit hole and sucked me back in. I will say I am good, I have come a long way and my emotions aren't all over the place. I still have moments when the thought of divorce upsets me but that's more abt not wanting to get screwed in the settlement. I still don't want the divorce, if it happens I will be ok. I have done everything I can to fight for this marriage and will continue to fight for this marriage. God knows my heart and I will continue to trust and believe in him.
I have received 2 sets of papers, the 1st in Sept of 2023, the 2nd set in July of 2024 and now in January of 2025 he just wants me to sign the papers. ABSOLUTELY NOT As I typed those dates I see there is irony to them. Sept is his b'day, July is our anniversary and January is when we started dating 35yrs ago. Coincidence???? Maybe, can someone shed some light????
Where does their empathy go? He knows I am living in a camper but doesn't care that I have to find someplace to bathe in the winter because my water freezes or that my bathroom is a tank that I have to empty. Don't get me wrong I am very thankful that I have what I have, it could be so much worse. It's just not someplace you see yourself after being married for 32yrs. Yet he wants me to have empathy when he talks about what I want in the divorce, saying he has no money.
I think that concludes my rant for the night, especially since it's been a minute since I have been on here. Life has been busy, I started school and I am still working 2 jobs so time is limited. Thanks for reading and any feedback.
