Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with the kids and I don't mind doing chores at home. I also get to do a lot of more 'traditional manly stuff' outside of home and at work so I don't feel like I'm not a man. Maybe I seemed like I was keeping the finances under control but honestly my wife isn't great at saving or planning for the future and I don't feel sorry for that. Since I got a promotion and working on nmmng I'm takin a slightly more abundance mindset now.
Controlling is a bit strong for what I mean but I suppose having to be right, having to fix things, having to find the optimal way of doing things, it probably puts a bit of pressure on W that doesn't need to be there. Instead just give her praise for the great job she was doing.
I think I was trying to do too much sometimes, not taking enough time to have fun, show gratitude, not enough novelty and romance. Not enough planning fun things to do together.
With the stress and chaos of having kids, I think it got a bit like groundhog day for a while. Same stuff all the time. Later we weren't spending enough time together either.
Really I need to hear more from my wife about what her needs are. I don't think she is even aware of her needs all the time and doesn't state them too often.
It wasn't a bad marriage, not toxic or abusive, nothing that couldn't be fixed. Just better, more open, honest communication and protecting couple time more would really make a big difference I think. Realising we're on the same team.
