Just about Done pt 2

[grok]

I know I will never get proper closure from her
...
The financial destruction... has pushed me back a year or 2.

The one thing I'm still grappling with is whether I should ever consider having any sort of friendship with stbxw in the future, certainly not now

Hi Catman, I'm 10 years older and three kids but grappling with the same type issues.

Closure ... hmmmmm ... to do so would require her to be in a different state of mind and heart. Not possible right now and this board is littered with examples of how long that can take. AND it may require me to be in a different state of mind and heart. Trying to do something like that now may damage still bleeding wounds. A harsh and forced lesson in becoming solid and whole no matter the limbo or uncertainty or dangling ends laying about.

On the matter of financial destruction, it will take 10 years to get back to where I WAS in terms of retirement funds. The 50% which she takes away would have all been productive funds earning towards that end ... Cash flow, it will be less than a year and alimony is complete.

Friendship? Yeah, it keeps running though my mind that she has not behaved as a friend for at least two years. Disloyalty and betrayal cut in very deep ways I'm not sure how to return from. I went DARK when she moved out. I respond sometimes. ... I respond when needed for kids or finances ... after 24+ hours. No hostility or emotion. ... to do so would require her to be in a different state of mind and heart.

~Today is a new day for you. You left the message you are gone. You are keeping on.~

The Message by Still Corners

Seasons change so fast
They don't last
And the leaves always fall
Today is a new day
And there's a clear way
And the road is long

Drivin' till dawn
Call you from the station
Leavin' you a message that I'm gone

Oh I'm keeping on
Oh I'm keeping on
Oh I'm keeping on

g