They make sense. She doesn't say much of anything but it has mostly been respectful lately. When I called her up on snapping at me once she turned polite pretty quickly.
Is she a little scared of me at this stage? I probably hold more of the 'balance of power' if there is such a thing. I haven't told anyone about her affair yet and I think she's quite worried about her image to friends and family. Financially I provide a lot more, although she does work as well.
She probably feels trapped, which is the thing that delays me on setting too many boundaries on what she should and shouldn't do. I don't think she is going anywhere too soon...
I just don't like the limbo.
I'm a bit impatient because I can see how it's hurting the kids. As much as I'm enjoying my time with them and having fun, it feels like there is a bit of a cloud hanging over us some days and they aren't seeing their parents behave as a loving couple should.
I suppose the point is that I was thinking of telling her what actions will help me be patient and help show me she's serious about rebuilding trust and what actions won't. But how to balance this against being controlling?
I'm not the perfect husband. If I was we wouldn't be here. But I do feel that I am the prize in this situation.
I've done a lot of work on cleaning up my side of the street. The next challenge is to prove I can listen without criticising, judging or fixing. If only she would open up....
So is it back to the 37 rules? More space? More detachment? More GAL? More good husbandly leadership? Let time do it's thing?
