You are correct he has had plenty of room to come clean. I will figure out how to buy the book . He now has access to the Amazon account ! Sometimes full access backfires. The boundary of no more cheating has been clearly laid out . It’s not even I will walk , it’s you will be walked out never to return and I will go NC with a parenting app only . I went so far as to tell him he wouldn’t even be allowed in the home to use the bathroom . If I even get a sniff of something not being right , he knows the deal . Few months before the BD from his A partner we had a lengthy conversation . I stated I knew he had been cheating for years and I chose to keep my mouth shut . He was warned if it was brought to me the fallout would not be pretty . He confided this in a friend who was also involved in an A about this conversation. Birds of a feather I must say . Two cheaters talking about what their spouses say . Then telling the affair partners . Just stupid . The affair partners of my H and his friend were friends . Hence how I ended up getting the BD. Almost like the old school telephone game how this information spread . H has also come clean and stated he was threatened numerous times that they were going to contact me . Ultimately now that H is talking more this pretty much sums up how the A ended and how self destructive it was . H started shifting towards this solid person (me ) and away from all the chaos .
H is also still doing IC. I think from what I’m gathering is the IC right now is focusing on him and has not suggested MC yet . From what I’m gathering there is some deep rooted things that go back to his childhood and even his late teen years that need to be addressed first .
As far as him being scared . I’m pretty sure he’s scared for his life after I saw that name , he’s come to terms with I’m not as stupid as he thought and know a lot more than I let out . The fact that I sat back for years and just went along (most days )is actually quite scary to him . I don’t think he ever imagined just how differently I reacted when it all came out. Reality hit him square in the face and quick . He did say a few months back I’m not as scared of you as I am your father . He will bury me finically and I won’t be able to recover . H did also mention you were absolutely quiet about what you would do if I left. I think some of that stems from he did not leave the home and overheard me sending my father all the information that was sent to me . Photos , messages , receipts and letters . The police were called to the home , he lied to them saying I attacked him . The children were questioned and obviously none of it was true . Ive never laid a hand on my children and I sure wouldn’t throw a swing at H. This was while he was having an active A , he was attempting to get me out of the home I own and on the occasion I would ask him , why are you still here ? You don’t want to be married , you want to not come home , why be here . So he called the police and told them I attacked him and jumped on him . Man I really wish I did some days . This incident when I look back is really the start to when he began to clean up his act . He attempted to mend this incident very quickly and began to stay home more frequently. It still amazes me the lengths they will go to during MLC and A to make you into a villain you are not . I’m going to add he has utterly apologized and is embarrassed about it . He has also openly admitted I tried to make you into something you just flat out are not . You had every right to ask me why I was still there , because I shouldn’t have been while acting like that . I’m very cautious when giving other members advice because of this solely . They will use whatever they can to attempt to get what they want or try to start a riot . He attempted to get me removed from a home I solely own . That he can not afford . And really if it came down to it and for some odd reason that never would happen I was forced to sell . He is very aware I would not stay in the area so he would have less access to his children and really would have been given everything he had said for years . Freedom ! Freedom to be single . Freedom to not have to be a solid parent . Freedom to not come home . Alone , just as he so thought he wanted . Now that he’s slowly clearing up that MLC fog , it’s just sad . It’s sad I’m still somehow still here . So part of me does understand the hesitation as him coming clean on more may just tip me over edge . His gig is up we all know it .
