I did as I say poke the bear beginning of last week . Still struggling with gaining trust with H . Trying to be patient . I know it’s going to take time . It may take more time than I originally thought or it may never come . Slowly coming to terms with letting go little bits at a time .
When it comes to poking the bear . I told H I’m not living with not communicating things or thoughts that I am having . He’s been asking for me to talk more so I did .
Me : why should I begin to trust you now . You have at times been a very good liar but also many times were sloppy with covering up the muck you have run
H: honey I have been running for a lot longer than I think you have realized it’s been a solid 4-5 years of this . I tried at times . I failed at times . I am just done with living like that .
Me: unblock me on everything (he over the last few years has blocked me on everything, social media , texting apps , group chats , accounts ,emails)
H: opens his phone and unblocks everything
Me : As he’s unblocking me I see another woman’s name . It’s not the A partner .
H: catches on to this . Immediately says oh that’s so and so’s friend - she posts alot and it’s annoying
Me: I don’t say anything
I know this name . About 11 years ago we were at a friends wedding he was in . H came out at the reception completely trashed all over this girl . It was so bad his friends pulled him off dance floor and said to him what is wrong with you . Your wife is here . This has been brought up by myself multiple times over the years . I was utterly embarrassed. I was a stay at home parent and had little options to leave . But the tides have changed .
Do I poke this bear ??? Because let me just say I have openly told him numerous times . I know there’s more women and he will never tell me because he’s scared that I will leave him flat on his behind .
