What a fun few days I had traveling all over . Lots of love for my kids and we gave lots of love to our huge family . Was so nice just seeing all the cousins together . The younger children are enjoying the new gagets and continuing to make a mess but tis the season . Post Christmas clean up continues .
I spent Christmas Eve with the parents and my siblings . I took a bit of a different path this year and decided to not make solid plans with H . He kept asking I just didn’t commit . We both have family in our area and it’s usually hurry through and get to both families . Feels rushed . I hate it .. I decided to live in the uncomfortable and do what was best for me . Maybe an hour before we were due to leave I suggested H gather whatever children want to go with him to his families first but I would only be going to my parents . This was not mean , even though as I’m writing it seems it . Majority of the kids chose to come with me . Few older ones went with him . I explained I did not want him to rush through his family to see mine . H saw his family and appreciated not feeling rushed to leave to make dinner with mine . H arrived later on at my families in a much better mood than years prior , HAPPY ! I had to chuckle because my family asked multiple times when he was coming . I finally blurted out you all seem more worried about H being here than I am . I hadn’t even looked at my phone for hours . When I did I had a message ,on my way . No need to respond he was on his way . It worked out way better , I was happy and H was happy . Though one of the older kids regretted going with dad instead of me . My family has the better food and presents hands down . The little one even told me as she says “on the secret” she picked my parents because she didn’t want to be late for presents . Just so darn cute , the littlest one .
I learned from Christmas that even in marriage you don’t have to do everything together . We still had our time alone with our children opening gifts . We still took them alone out to dinner on Christmas Day just us . It may have appeared to others we do things separately but it’s what works best for us .
The biggest shift with this holiday is the how H has been . Usually not as involved or annoyed . This year I noticed he was very involved . Even just carrying stuff in . Helping me organize . But mainly just taking it all in . We were alone on Christmas after kids went to bed just finally alone . H said I used to fear the day there would be no kids , just alone . It took me a long time to come to a place of knowing that my wife and children will always be here , I’m not alone, I have a great family . We did have a good laugh because he said I now fear the days of when we have grandkids because I thought you spoil our kids but I can only imagine what is to come .
