So now another delay, stbxw and lawyer asked for an extension to filing her answer to my court service. She was served on October 29th and had until November 28th to file an answer, her along with lawyer asked for an extension until December 5th, then December 15th, after the extension to the 15th my lawyer suggested we move forward with court process, at which point a response to my filing came in, with repeated mention of how shocked her and her client were to be served, also how shocked they were that I wanted to go the court route because I saw nothing was happening on their end. My lawyer made repeated requested for specific documents pertaining to car loan to which there was never any forthcoming. And in her response they mentioned how there was no need to go through court as we were having substantive negotiations (basically my lawyer would ask them for things and theyd not send anything and the negotiations were basically a rehashing of our already agreed upon mediation). So now they asked for another extension until January 15th to which my lawyer is now requesting house sale proceeds be released up to 90% of amount, if she does not file an answer through courts the divorce will go through the courts uncontested.
I do not understand the logic of the delays, she must have a serious personality disorder, my thoughts are that she was perfectly content in being separated only by distance and place of living and she thought she could keep me legally and financially tied to her for when her inevitable new relationship falls apart. The more i look back and analyze everything i see every single characteristic and personality trait of narcissistic personality disorder, where they treat you as an extension of themselves, a sort of ownership of you as a person. They dont want to let go of people that gave them supply of affection or emotion and are perfectly ok with keeping you in their life while in comolete full blown new relationships. Its the only explanation for this. It feels like there was never any real love for me as a person more love for how i made her feel and nothing more.
Ive come to accept this because i am one who needs to learn from my mistakes and watch peoples behaviour to prepare myself for future relationships, a man who doesnt learn from his errors or mistakes tends to repeat them. The delays and prolonging of all of this has had a mental draining effect on me as i wanted closure and to start anew from a completely fresh slate, not to mention that i have spent upwards of 50-70k total in the last 2 years to make ends meet and figure out how to navigate this scenario. Had it not been for me moving here and staying with my parents and having them help me financially id likely be living on the street where i was. I feel like im still being held hostage in my own life by a psychological abuser who refuses to fess up to their mistakes and accept the consequences of her actions. I feel like a toy that belongs to her, but one thats older and been replaced by a shiny new toy, but she refuses to give up the old toy because the more toys she has the more options she has even though this stuffed animal has been left dirty and missing parts.
If this isnt a cluster b personality then i dont know what is.
In the meanwhile i still have my routine, my work is going well, im finding a lot more time to socialize and making new friends. I am doing what I can but the longer this drags on the more im stealing from my future financially and mentally and it is not easy whatsoever
