Last 2 weeks or so I have had these over whelming feelings of not wanting to be M anymore . Not for lack of effort of H. More these deep thoughts of I deserve better than these last few years . I don’t want a M with someone who has or had these capabilities. The years of gaslighting I tolerated . To the point I ignored an A he was having all the while knowing . He walked around arrogantly .
I know his tune has changed significantly. The more I’m here the longer these feelings of just utter betrayal get worse .
We have made steps towards repair . H big strides . I don’t even like him most days and the thoughts of the things in that letter I received from his A partner are not letting up last few weeks . Trying to hang in here but this is tough.
I know it takes time but time seems to not be helping
