Just about Done pt 2

[grok]

Realizing something I built with someone for 22 years is now over, memories and moments and flashbacks of everything we had together entering my consciousness.

... words are hard to describe what it feels like.

... a realization of what could have been and now can no longer be. Questioning my life choices and decisions and wondering why the one woman I devoted myself to for the rest of my life, through my thoughts, my words and my actions,

I hear you and feel it. For me, 21 years married, 25 together. For some of us it seems impossible that this amount of investment, no matter the ups and downs, could be dismissed in such a fashion. It still feels unreal many times.

I've talked to one or two others I know personally who have gone through something similar. They all said it is hard to describe in words. Just...if you have gone through it, you know what they are saying and experienced.

These days the hard feelings come when I come face to face with what could have been and what will be now. I try to focus on the now. Though I sometimes see the potentials and the void in their place.

I am filling that void with other things. It comes slowly. In its own time I suppose.

I am glad you have an agreement signed finally. It's not finished yet, but it gives shape to closing it out.

For me the shape is - I have three more sets of retirement accounts to balance and distribute, a car to sign over to her name only, and 11 more months alimony to send.

g