Navigating the Last Resort

[grok]

Much of this email is boilerplate "reasons" (excuses?) for leaving a marriage. "I've outgrown you" is a classic. Much according to script.

When you traveled it was a source of relief because it was one less persons emotions to handle.

Your emotions are yours to handle...why is she taking responsibility to manage them?

The point I"m trying to make is, in all her years of 'soul searching', 'healing', etc, did it ever cross her mind to say "what can I do to improve/save our marriage?" From what I just read, the answer is 'no'.

Feels like female solipsism. Google is your friend here. She directly says it's about herself and her feelings. I ran smack into a version in my XW. She said I was distant and didn't make her feel XXXXXX over the last years but OM did. Few to no actions by her over the years to address what she now claims to be marriage ending lack of attention. Not a single word of things she wasn't doing for me. It is/was all about her.

My view was different...but it takes two.

If a woman shouldn’t leave her husband when he becomes unsuccessful, sick or old.

A man shouldn’t leave when his wife becomes fat, sick or old.

Neither of you should run away.

That’s what “til death due you part” means.

You stick it out together, regardless of what’s changed.

g