Thanks everyone for the support, this really is helpful. I uploaded the rules of detachment to NotebookLM (Googles new AI tool which is really cool if you haven't played around with it) and asked it how to respond to specific texts from W and it's advice is really impressive. For example, she texted me, "I don't know if it's the steroids [she's fighting an allergy], but I'm really emotional today, I mean more than usual."
It gave me a bunch of bullet points based on the rules of detachment, and then recommended either not responding or if I must then, "I hope your day gets better.". That response really irked her.
