I am by no means and expert as I am just plugging along in this please as well, but one coach I had for a few sessions told me "you are going to be wrong no matter what you do, so do what you feel is right. it is better to wrong for doing the right thing than wrong for doing something that is against your character." So I always go with that.
As far as her throwing it at you that you are just now doing this stuff that she wanted you to do and probably stuff that you should have but couldn't. I can say from a women's point (we can be ugly sometimes) I have felt the same. (In fact I am hoping that I can keep this point of view out of my head when/if he wakes up and starts to be a husband) we always have the view that you are only doing things now because it is you afraid of that you are loosing something.
My Husband has had a pattern for most of our marriage that he would never help or do anything till I was about to be done. Then he would work on things for a month and then it would be back to normal. So we will say that stuff till we see that it is actually who you are becoming. Again we all need to make these changes because they are the right thing to do and keep the changes.
My Ex Husband did the same thing and never wanted to get a job or stop drinking till i was out the door. But it only last a few weeks and then back. I think with anything consistency and Just being the person that you want to be weather they like it or not. They are going to be mad about anything for a while.
