Sometimes, they need a truth dart to let them know how you feel. He should be aware of the fact that you aren't going to sweep the entire incident under the rug. You can't sweep something like this away. At some point, everything will need to be discussed and out in the open if you and your h are going to have a good foundation to rebuild your marriage on, i.e., especially the trust factor.
Don't beat yourself up. Truth darts can be healthy. You stated your thoughts, he knows what you think and now he needs time to digest what you have stated.
Keep moving forward. You are doing great. Reconnecting/reconciling is difficult when there has been a huge elephant in the room. Be gentle with yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
