Thank you I need someone once in awhile telling me I’m doing ok . I think what is hard for me the most is when we are all doing things together I feel ok . Kids happy , H happy I’m genuinely happy .When I’m alone or have time for myself I feel this pull of “ I could just end this marriage , I didn’t deserve any of this and eventually be ok alone “. It’s sad sometimes at night H will be sleeping and I’m awake just up . He looks so peaceful like his world is coming together and I’m over there just thinking how am I going to do this the rest of my life . Almost as if I’m the one living the double life . Eventually I calm myself and just have a little faith that in time maybe I will feel better.
