Lonelee, I caught up on your thread and totally remember feeling as you described. Reluctantly, I listened to DnJ and eventually dropped the rope. I still get sucked in but have come a long way. It's hard. Very hard. What feels logical and normal was changed up.
Giving my H space is the greatest gift I've ever offered him. And, turns out it was a gift for me too. I'm not longer on the emotional rollercoaster. Aim to not reach out for 2 days and then see if you can stretch it to 3 or 4 days. With time, it'll get easier. Not easy. But, easier.
