Sorry about your dogs. Glad your neighbour brought them back inside.
Crisis folks have the attention span of a gnat. Their memories are like a sieve, except for anything we do or say that can be used against us, then it’s like a steel trap.
They become rather irresponsible as well, flaking on kinds of important things. They miss appointments, birthdays, work, and so on.
These folks have broken empathy chips. Remember their path is emotionally driven. Their feelings are cranked right to eleven. They have no bandwidth for anyone or anything else.
Depression is ever present for them. And their perception of time is quite odd. Brooding, sitting alone, and of course running - hours, days, weeks pass by.
MLCers will flake on responsibilities. Most become terrible parents (and pet sitters). The best you can do is to not count on them for really important stuff. Heck, any stuff. Find another way.
I’m glad you found a safe and healthy release for the perfectly normal anger you are feeling.
Physical activity is also quite good at purging the venom we feel. Sweating it out. Run, punch the heck out of a punch bag, dig a garden, stack firewood, etc. I found cutting firewood - the operating of dangerous implements - best left to calmer times. Do more manual labor than skill-based labor during angry times. Less injuries, less breaking things.
Originally Posted by RegretfulLA
My work for me now is to figure out why I put up with so much rejection from him. Why it took something completely shocking and jarring to allow me to see our negative patterns of relating. And why I STILL want his approval, despite all that has happened.
Good valid inner work to dig into.
Figuring out why will take time. However, you know and see the what. What you’ve being putting up with. And what you’re still looking for.
When you feel yourself looking for his approval - big red stop sign. Let go. Detach. Act as if.
Your approval is paramount. Not his. Discover your convictions. And…
Strengthen that which serves. Craft that which you aspire to. Discard/alter that which no longer serves.
You are the most important person in this equation. Your standards and tenets matter most.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
