I think the breakfast meetup went well. After an understandable initial bout of jitters it sounds like you found your center and were pretty well detached.
Agree that I appeared and felt detached. Some feelings would surface and then I pushed them back. Saturday breakfast was successful on the detached front. Agree that I shouldn't have said that I won't abandon him. I suppose he may have known that anyway but I didn't need to confirm it in case there was doubt. Actions though...if my actions continue to demonstrate detachment, the message will be re-sent to him. TY
Originally Posted by DnJ
I’m thinking you are attempting to convey that the door is still open a crack. Yet, this statement is more a carte blanche for H. Letting him know you are sitting on the shelf, waiting.
Yup.
Originally Posted by DnJ
H is still being a teenager. Happily wearing what he wants, doing what he wants, and not feeling any much judgement or consequences. Yet, he is not a teenager. He is a grown man, and that grown body gets more aches and pains.
I see that you struck the word "any". Are you suggesting that he tells himself that he's not being judged but feels like he is?
Originally Posted by DnJ
Yes, depression often is accompanied by illness and aches. Remember, depression is ever present in a crisis. H is still running, with some facets of his journey exhibiting more depression.
Based on your response, including this comment, I'm hearing you note that H is still in replay. Perhaps he's dipping his toe into D/W stages. Is that what you're suggesting?
As for the hike, yes it happened. I was less detached and was running out of smoothies. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing. In hindsight, I question if I took bait or if our conversation happened with the real H. It seemed so real. So hard to tell.
