I also think you’re right about her wanting me to end it to remove the guilt from her. The apologies may have been theater, if so it’s a new thing. Her theater before was to immediately cry until it got to me. That eventually stopped working. I obviously still love her however she doesn’t bring me comfort any longer. I feel indifferent towards her most of the time. It seems like she is a total stranger. I know it’s “normal” that they backslide but after 2 years of thinking we were working through this I really feel done. By that I mean I’m not angry or sad, just numb. It shouldn’t have taken this long to realize she isn’t the person I used to know. Or thought I knew. Some of that may seem contradictory, sorry. It’s hard to put these things into words.


M:50 W:48
T:33 M:25
D23, S17, D13
BD:4/2/22