Anyone who knows the real me knows I just have such a sweet spot for the kids . Not even just my own . My nieces and nephews , fun aunt . Kids run when they see me coming and I run to them . Such a source of joy for me . Watching my kids world just fall back in place is a very strong pull . The calmness and peace they have right now is just how their lives need to be .
I may take you up on doing a reset . I did one for a few months after I knew A ended . We have never been a love less couple and we were getting back into a good place best we had been in a few years . A lot of up and down from him prior to May but not much since except few days after letter came from A partner . H does on occasion talk to me about his counseling after the house is quiet .I listen for some of it . Try not to get too involved . That’s just a deep mess right there . The parts about living a double life almost and why he felt the need to do it . Utter madness when I hear it . Small doses . At this point I don’t even want to see the bank account prior to May . I’ve heard enough .
Was odd last night . H had a meeting a little later than normal . I don’t really question much . I never have and it’s just not in me to be a hawk wife. H came home said hello like he usually does . Played with kids , as typical men do scarfed down dinner . I stayed put . I guess he sometimes has just as good of a read on me as I do him . He just looked at me and said “you can trust this today “. I didn’t say anything back and nodded . I didn’t know what to say because really for some reason I just had a tough day . I wanted to blurt out I want a divorce you killed any dream I had for this family . But I let it pass . H has it written all over him that he’s here and doesn’t plan on going anywhere . Just as he had his A written all over him too . I do give him credit he keeps pushing on with the new status quo while I’m hanging in the mud some days .
