R - thank you for the early bday wishes. Remember that my family celebrates everything and everyone! It keeps us really closely tied. D & S are planning a family celebration next month. Should be fun.
Originally Posted by RegretfulLA
You're also lucky to have a church and a community that you're a part of. I'm not religious so that's not much of an option for me, but I envy those who have that nice community.
I'd love for you to have a community that you belong to. It's never too late to try out a religious community if there are options around you. You may be pleasantly surprised. I've found that my religion has carried me through H's crisis.
Earlier this week, the oldest dog used his voice to announce an intruder - the mailperson was approaching our door. lol Having my attention, I looked and saw that she was looking for my attention. My mind began to wander. What could possibly have been mailed that requires a signature? I looked quickly and saw that it was addressed to H. Phew, a sigh of relief... I really thought THE papers had been mailed. Afterall, it's been since May that H and I have interacted. Anything is possible.
Although I've not reached out to H, for this, I felt that I had to. It's the business side.
M: I signed for a certified mailing for you. (I also sent him a photo of the envelope, so he knew who sent the letter.) H: Thanks can I stop by tomorrow to get it (H is now ASKING to stop by. Throughout the summer months, H would TELL me he was going to stop by for his things. Is he lightening up on his control measures??) M: Yes H: I'll stop right after work
Next day: H: Not going to make it. Is tomorrow, ok? M: Would you rather I just open it and send you a picture? (I don't want to play this game for another few days and felt this approach would be welcomed. I was mistaken.) H: No tomorrow is fine M: I've got plans tomorrow night H: Thursday? (Again, I don't want to play this game for the next few days nor make myself readily available.) M: Are you working Saturday or can we do breakfast? H: I can do that
I'm not holding my breath but would really love to know where his head is. Attending the event last week surfaced feelings and curiosity in me that I haven't been able to shake. If breakfast happens, I will listen and not initiate R talk! None of us are hearing from H much. And with ADs in August, I suspect he may have begun facing demons. Ahh, the inner work. I've been suspecting H has entered depression/withdrawal stage. I'd love to confirm.
This upcoming Monday provides for a pitch double header. We'll be playing 10 games due to a conflict this week - our opponent couldn't make it. Ten games is a lot of pitch, especially for a work night. Perhaps brother and I will catch dinner and a drink in between games. Looking forward to the potential 5 hours of cards.
I'm getting more comfortable hanging out with myself although I know that I need to get out and be an adult, too. I try to secure dinner plans once a week with different friends and another night with mom/dad. Last week, I had dinner with a couple girlfriends from elementary school. This week, I enjoyed dinner with D and BF. As usual, I sent her off with groceries and some meals which she appreciates. Next week's dinner will be with work friends which lends itself to being covered by the company. Working for corporate America has its perks.
On that front, as a large corporation, we host fairs where other companies visit to promote their goods or services. Each table/booth will offer gadgets with their company logo. Through the years, the family enjoyed going through the bag of goodies that I would bring home. Having attended a fair this week, I shared my goodies with D and BF when they were here for dinner. It's funny to watch D still get excited and now BF is sharing in the excitement, too. From bandages and pill boxes to stress balls to cutting board and chip clips to travel nail kits. Some goodies are really cool, while others are not as practical, but I bring them home anyway to share in some laughs. Sometimes, they surprise me with excitement when I'm expecting the laugh. This week's favorite gadget - the toothpaste tube squeezer. They don't like wasting any toothpaste. Interesting that they didn't seem to mind it when I was supplying the toothpaste.
S works a lot of hours. S travels a lot for his company and doesn't live down the street. I'm missing my boy. Adult kids and an empty nest have brought some sadness that I'm still working through.
