Blindsided 2

[DnJ]

Hello aph

I understand and empathize with the consuming depression and the feelings of utter despair. You will get through it. (((Hugs)))

I feel defeated and im not sure how to proceed to get a job in this field.

Do realize depression will drag your feelings around, darken them, make you feel defeated. Feelings are valid, however they are not facts.

Yes, finding and starting a new job/career is difficult. And at age 52, more so. Make a resume. Your education and work experience. Get it organized and listed. Illustrate your skill sets and knowledge base. Ensure you are prepared.

I’d consider seeking employment help with firms that specialize in that area. Job banks or recruiting firms should be able to match you with potential employers.

Looking for employment opportunities in technical circulations and publications may yield opportunities. Talking with peers within the tech realm might lead to useful intel of a company or business looking to hire as well.

My question is for those who have gone through divorce how did you get through the holidays?

By putting one foot in front of the other. You get through it, by getting through it. Act as if, as needed.

Cry and such as needed as well.

It’s a sad and dark ride. Yet there is a light. Know this. Hang on to that knowledge, for you won’t feel like it.

Depression, grief, takes as long as it takes. The clouds will part when they are meant to. And not one second earlier. Keep slogging your way.

Schedule those times to allow yourself to feel. Set a time limit. Then on to something else. The GAL stuff.

Holiday specific advice. Go easy on yourself. It’s ok to not have the decoration all top notch the first year or two. Gosh, my first Christmas compared to now. Ha, I’ve come a very far way!

The first Christmas, all first holidays and special days, is tough. The second go around, things are easier.

My first Christmas my daughter mostly decorated.

It was difficult finding and giving gifts when I felt so gutted. I mostly went on some kind of autopilot.

but I miss having a family. I miss that life and it feels like that was my last chance. i don't even have an emergency contact. I feel so alone and lost. thanks for listening.

I hear you man.

It’s a heck of a loss. One you find acceptance of.

Your definition of family will change. You and daughter. Family. Cherish the holiday together.

Believe me, it gets better. The life I live now, I could not imagine after BD and those first holiday times. Yet, here I am. And my life is great!

Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Do that inner work. Discover who you are. Why you are.

Categorize. Organize. You. Your values. Your tenets. Then, strengthen that which serves, craft that which you aspire to, and alter/discard that which does not or no longer serves. Become the best version of you.

All journeys are made of small steps. Many wee steps. Just keep taking them. Keep moving forward. It accumulates and compounds.

A few steps I’d suggest:

I just started seeing a therapist again because I got insurance and my therapy is free.

Good on seeing a therapist. Keep walking those steps.

I'm very depressed and feel like I'm running out of options to survive. I'm on disability but it doesn't cover my monthly bills. I've been living off my 401k and it’s in 6 months I will be out of money.

See a financial planner. To me it sounds like you might need to make an alteration to your accommodations. A planner can help you flesh out your financial picture and a sustainable budget.

This acquiring of knowledge regarding your finances will help alleviate your feelings. Either things are not as dire as you feel, or you are going to take rational action to head off disaster. Decision making and enacting based on and from the intellectual realm, is always helpful.

Hang in there.

D