Feeling accomplished and proud that I continue to get through the heavy lifts and using the machinery left by H. … I used the backpack blower to blow leaves for a couple hours yesterday. Of course, the task required figuring out how to use the blower, how to start the stinker up and how to get it on my back to actually carry it around. That was interesting!
Well done!, on this and all the other tasks the male half usually does. All those physical and maintenance tasks that never end. I see you figuring it all out and getting it done as needed. We step out of the areas we are comfortable and confident in and learn all the other tasks. I’m on the flip side. I’m learning or brushing up on all the softer skills with children.
That said, I’ve almost always been better/more interested in cooking/baking and housekeeping than the XW. I think that aggravated her as she had this notion she wanted to be a housewife but didn’t actually like the work it took. I think it also aggravated her that I insisted she learn and be capable of all the tasks I normally did. I taught her lawn mowing, house maintenance, car maintenance, etc…. I wanted her to be confident and capable when I was unable to be present.
Originally Posted by MamaG
It's like a shedding of the past. Past life. Ways of life. Behaviors. Beliefs. I suppose, an 'out with the old and in with the new' concept. Bittersweet in many ways as I sit here and gaze at them trickling down. Enjoying the sight and thinking through the metaphoric shedding. As RegretfulLA would say, a new normal.
This has been sitting in one of my many bookmarked browser tabs. And yes, metaphors, leaves dying and falling away, bare and sparse branches seemingly dead, but life deep within waiting for the season to come back.
Originally Posted by bttrfly
You need to be completely true to yourself, AS YOU ARE TODAY, and when it's time to take any action do so FREE FROM FEAR.
What do I mean, AS YOU ARE TODAY: * grief changes you * betrayal changes you and the dynamic of your relationship * you know who you were when you were single * you know who you were in your marriage * figure out who you are NOW, post BD
THE ONLY WAY to figure that out is to put in the work: quiet, peace, prayer/meditation.
Deep work which requires time, effort and patience.
Checked in with a few friends/family who live in Florida - everyone is safe. Properties, not so much. There is some upcoming cleanup.
Hey! I identify!
Originally Posted by MamaG
I must say that it was nice to pick some things out for myself. It has been a while....years.
Another common thread around here. In the M we get lost … and stop taking care of US. I know I did. Leaving myself behind in self sacrifice thinking I was giving to family.
Originally Posted by MamaG
Do I attend H's events if I'm invited. We'll see. Need to ponder this.
Yeah,… my former inlaws are out of state…but the same thoughts occur. They are NOT MY relatives anymore. She is THEIR daughter no matter her choices. They are MY CHILDREN’s grandparents. I have no answers now. I don’t need to answer now. Another day’s troubles. Not today’s.
Originally Posted by MamaG
Have a great weekend everyone!
Right back at you!
g
H:55 XW:50 D19, D18, S13 ILYBINILWY 3/23 DB1 4/23, rescinded 5/23, DB2 6/23 ("I can't do this, I Love HIM") Legal Mediation 1-5 & W leaves 8/23 – 3/24 Settlement 5/24, Court 9/11/24 <-, D 9/16/24
