I'm taking a break from cutting trees. Kind of thirsty.
Sat down for a drink and saw your post.
I'd respond in the same manner H reached out, I'm guessing text: "Sure. Let's meet at xxx restaurant at 3:00pm."
You have the door open a crack, and haven't firmly shut it yet. I'd not meet at home, choosing neutral ground. Also, you can just get up and leave if things go really sideways. And you're not inviting H to your home.
Some tips for the meet up (no particular order):
- Order a tea. I think you enjoy tea, personally I do not, I'd have a soft drink and maybe some fries. Its a mid-afternoon snack, with no expectations.
- No expectations. Keep those at zero. Who knows why H wants to talk. Go and find out.
- You don't have to answer anything. Remember, you didn't call/propose this meeting. Therefore you cannot be expected to have answers at the ready. You do not have any idea of the subject(s) or topic(s) H wishes to discuss.
- Utilize "I am listening." "I'll have to think about that before I can answer that." And such.
- Let H lead. You didn't call this meeting. Let H bring forward what he wishes to talk about. The less you say, the more you'll say. Don't fret over pauses in the conversation.
- Be the first to leave. When things are winding down (and you are finished your fries), thank H (if appropriate) and get up and leave.
- Go dutch. Pay your bill. Let H pay his.
- Be detached. Leave your emotions at home. You can cry, scream, punch, whatever, later.
- Do not agree to anything. Again, you need time to think about things. (And if it is business related, you will be running it passed your lawyer.)
- Know your boundaries. At a restaurant things are less likely to get boundary-worthy. Still, know what predetermined rational actions you take to unwanted disrespectful behavior and/or words. (No expectations of H stepping over such lines. Just being aware is all.)
Remember, H needs to walk his path. Allow him to. However, not at you health - mental, emotional, financial, or otherwise.
Stay strong my dear. You got this!
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
