I’m painting the outside trim of the windows. Working at getting finished before the weather turns.
I got the first coat of paint on. The next day the wind picked up! The following day even stronger winds; gusts 90km+. Far too windy to be on an extension ladder.
The particular window I’m working on is a second floor one. So with ladder leaning on the stone sill, I’m standing fifteen feet in the air tip-toed on the third rung from the top to reach the high part. Nothing to hang onto either. So, I put it off for a calmer day.
Well, the winds knocks down a tree across the driveway, and rips down a few in the yard. More work. Although less weather dependent.
Next day I wake up to 2C (35F). Brrrrr. Too cold for painting. Now I’m in goldilocks-land to get the painting finished.
Next day, things brighten up. 16C, breezy, from the west so house is blocking the winds. I get the second coat on. The other windows can wait until next year.
Snow, sometimes falls early October. November is more average. The winter temperature hits its lows in January/February, -30C/-40C. Even lower during the nasty storms.
The ground is usually frozen by the end of October. Many Halloween costumes are worn overtop snowsuits. lol.
As for accumulation. Feet of snow. Plenty of feet. The big storms dump/blow enough snow to bury everything. It is pretty common for a storm to drop a foot or so of snow and the wind to pile that up into some huge drifts. I’ve woken up to five feet pile into the driveway overnight. Takes a while to clear that!
So, with winter’s impending arrival, I’m turning my attention back to indoor projects. Outdoor-wise, I’ve got a final grass mowing likely and to clean up those aforementioned trees. And to get the vehicles winter-ready.
Originally Posted by MamaG
Knowing what I know about MLC, I'm leaning towards H may continue his avoidance behaviors and not attend at all. If I ask him to pick me up, I suspect he'd be open to it and would attend - much like taking me to dr appts. That doesn't make it the right idea. What are your thoughts? While I've considered texting H about going together (to ease his discomfort), I don't want to make the wrong move and therefore I haven't reached out. D has already decided that she won't attend which bums me out. I'm really seeing lots of avoidance behaviors in D. Concerning for sure.
My thoughts.
You didn’t break him, therefore you cannot fix him.
You may be correct. H might attend with you, if you invited him along. However, he is a mess. Time and space. He needs to work through his issues. And that is a glacially slow process.
H has gone radio silent. Allow him his path/journey.
Daughter’s present time avoidance is more “normal”. Hopeful she transits it timely.
Originally Posted by MamaG
I would even guess that H's ego and stubbornness will keep him away longer than he'd like. This here is what I'd like to not be true. H is a brilliant man - I wouldn't just say that - and I have all the confidence that he'll look inward and to your point, may have already begun to. That doesn't mean that he's willing to bruise his ego and return home.
Bingo!
Hitting rock bottom is necessary. And there areso many distractions, internal and external, to allow folks to continue as they are.
Ego, pride, stubbornness. Lots to swallow. It takes a humbleness to admit, sincerely admit, to one’s pain and torment. Admit and submit. MLCer’s run from that. Fight that. And fighting begets fighting.
Originally Posted by MamaG
In time, it may have to be me who breaks the ice with SMART contact. For now, I'm holding out.
I’m weeks away from seven year anniversary from BD (Thanksgiving). XW and I have not had really any contact for those years.
Two (three?) years ago, a son’s wedding, bridal shower, social, etc; this year another son’s wedding announcement and social, etc. These events have placed XW and I in the same room/place/location a few times. Two years ago, I broke the ice with her. She did opened up and equated the kids’ success and happiness with/due to my influence and example. I told her she was an awesome Mom and raised awesome kids. This year, I let her lead. Her and I were in the same yard site over the weekend, in a dance hall, and she said nothing. Didn’t speak to two of the boys, spoke a bit to daughter, and a bit to the happily engaged couple. Didn’t engage much with others. And no dancing.
My weekend was different. I spoke and interacted with lots of people. Danced with lots of people. Helped with the fireworks, setting up the hall, cleaning up the hall, and so on. It was a good time! Good food, good people!
XW has to walk her path.
H has to walk his path.
Look at it less of holding out, and more of letting go. Allowing. Allowing H his choices. You living/loving your life.
Hope yesterday’s university trip went well. A bowl of hot soup, and hugs from Mom. I’m sure D felt good with that!
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
