Take time to mourn the loss (some say it can be second only to experiencing a death)
I personally think it’s worse not second because in death you are sure there is no recovery whereas in this case you might think there is hope.
That's because you've never gone through it....
: )
At Swarthmore U here in the U.S., students play "misery poker" (these are high achievers) to "compete" with who has it worse (in terms of workload, college life, etc.). I submit it is all relative to your personal stress tolerance. For some people, it is worse. For others, death of a spouse is worse. Either way, comparing "hands" (to continue the card game metaphor) isn't as good as a Rise of Grok thread so I'm also waiting for that!
Grok, you're doing all the natural things to cope: sitting with your feelings, grieving, sharing your feelings, and leaning on others (in this forum and likely in person with family and friends). As Mach suggests, the other coping work to do is to prioritize other things that bring YOU happiness that are within your control. As Cadet also suggests, "hope" related to a former spouse is a cheeseless tunnel in 99.9% of these situations. Some ICs recommend setting aside 30 minutes to an hour per day/week/month to grieve. The rest of the time is for rebuilding an improved self. What are you doing to keep that process moving along too? I hope to hear about 1-2 things in your next post. Take care, P.
