So the process of divorce is still dragging on for me, ive gone through the court process now which takes time and has cost me a ton of money. Still sitting on a quarter million in the bank from proceeds of home sale, shes still refusing to sign our mediated agreement which is the simplest and cheapest way for both of us to move forward. I have a strong feeling she will contest the divorce to keep me from moving on and forcing me to return overseas to appear in court, mind you i conceeded pension adjustment for difference, conceeded on not receiving spousal support, gave her the car in separation at a discount. Its been 3 months and i still feel like im in a sort of limbo or a metaphorical prison not allowing me to fully move on. The relationship im in here has become a bit more serious and i wanted to offer my new partner a baggage free me, and a clean slate to build on. I feel like i am shortchsnging her because im still legally married in both countries. I do not bring up the subject because i do not want to insert that into the equation and bring negativity to it. Im still burning through excessive amounts of money merely maintaining my marriage based debts and payments, which would be completely paid off when separation is signed. It almost feels like im fighting a battle on two fronts, one a battle of building and fighting to put roots down and create a new life, and another battle, simultaneously fighting to break free from the shackles that are impeding my growth both personally and professionaly. I have absolutely no idea why stbxw is delaying/blocking separation, someone brought to my attention how her new partner has him and her as their instagram and facebook profile togethef, yet she seems to purposely want to not see me happy or see me move on. I feel like im her personal possession and if she cant be happy she doesnt want me to be happy as well. I have not posted any pictures of my new partner, i do not want to antagonize stbxw into contesting in court and i also dont want to ruin a good thing.
I have had a little bit of success in my new career as i have made my first business deal and will be getting some decent cash flow soon. But between legal costs, car rental, debt payments i feel a financial noose around my neck and an emotional one as well that i need to get rid of to finally be free and clear. It is coming up on almost 2 years now from d day and i feel i do not want to waste any more emotional energy on dealing with this. Im very convinced now the stbxw is a narcissist, treating me like a possession that cannot be let go of while she lives whatever life she decides.
