I couldnt have said it any better. I have forgiven her in my prayers and have asked God to help her see the right path, as Jesus said to his father on his crucifixion, "forgive them for their sins for they know not what they do". I feel i no longer require closure, my form of closure is the formality of the signatures on the legal separation snd then divorce. One cannot undo the past wrongs. I have decided that it was not meant to be nor could it be again or anymore, i searched long and hard in my soul and realized I could not place a square peg into a round hole. The journey of self discovery and finding ones self again is a difficult and arduous path, but deep down inside you know when you have achieved this, it brings you a sense of comfort and mostly a sense of liberation, a form of escaping the mental prison one has been placed in by no fault of their own.
Another word of advice for everyone on these boards : do not seek self discovery by adding someone to your life, add someone to your life only when and if you truly feel ready and open to be yourself and give another person an oppurtunity to see the person you are happy with when you look into the mirror Only then will you truly be ready and open to start a new chapter in your life, doing this early will only self sabotage your efforts and set you back. Only when you are healed or accepting of your destiny and situation can you then offer the best of yourself, never offer someone a broken and unhealed soul because you wouldnt want anything but the absolute best you to be seen in someone elses eyes. Do not rush the healing process and do not get into a relationship until you are truly and fully ready. You will know when you are and you will feel it then.
